Question:
Shalom, thank you for being here and offering advice. Here is the thing: I'm not really active in searching for a soul mate, but I decided to sign up for an online dating site. At the end of my membership, I met someone. The list goes on with signs I’ve seen in regards to her. I am not sure if she is my soul mate. Why did God have us meet? When I move on, her name appears again? And why do so many clear signs pop up? I'm not into signs, but when all roads lead to Rome, go to Rome. Can you tell me why I met her? When I move on, another sign pops up. Many of the links are clear. ~DK
Answer:
Dear DK,
I love the fact you’re asking the right questions. Yet, you’re quite the man of contradictions – you’re not active, but sign up; you see non-stop signs, but you’re not into signs; you find the signs both clear and confusing, etc. Let’s try dissecting all of this, shall we?
Karen Berg, Spiritual Leader of the Kabbalah Centre, would always say a soul mate relationship doesn’t just come from someone you meet, it’s something you create. That means the spiritual work you and your mate do together will bind your souls to become one. So, learning to see or judge a potential mate not just in terms of immediate chemistry, but rather how you spiritually WORK and grow together, is going to be far more insightful for a lasting partnership. This means investing, experiencing, and not guessing from a distance. And I imagine when you say, “I am not sure if she is my soul mate,” you’re intimating there is something there.
The fact this person is continuously popping up can at least mean there is something important for you to learn directly with or indirectly from her. That’s the choice you have to make. But I would say, the point of dating is that you don’t have to sign on the dotted line. The wonderful thing about not knowing is getting to know.
It sounds like past fears and future doubts are complicating your head. The Light is just saying take one step forward until your heart speaks to you. At worst, you’re supposed to see for yourself how your head sabotages you. At best, she might be all you’ve ever imagined. It’s a win/win either way, no?
So long as you take slow, respectful steps, you’ll see what’s really blocking you in finding the right one and then you might see with clarity who that right one really is. But clarity is a merit each of us has to earn. And this is what the Light, at the very least, wants from you – to earn a deeper, greater way of giving and sharing your life and heart with another. (And it’s a clear question whether you genuinely want to – as many would find constant fault in others to deny the true issues within.)
So maybe, if it’s genuine, organize another meeting where you can be honest and respectful and ask the Light to tell your heart to start bypassing your head. Confusion connotes superficiality, whereas simplicity belongs to the heart. The kabbalists say the greatest distance in the world is from one’s head to one’s heart, so it’s no small feat, but definitely worth the effort if you have a Kabbalah teacher and you’re studying one of our courses to muster this strength.
Good luck!
